During my school years, I remember thinking about the world and how humans interact with it spiritually. I also remember how much I loved learning about new things. My love for knowledge and thoughts about human spirituality developed into a passion for poetry.

This newfound passion led me to write numerous poems, which I’m proud to say, were then published by my local newspapers. I once remember writing a poem about my beautiful country of Kazakhstan, unfortunately, I seem to have lost it along the years.

As I grew older, I slowly had to accept the idea of rejection and understand that not everyone shared the passions I have. This was especially true for my love of poetry.

In a drastic move, I decided to bury my passion and destroy any remaining evidence of my poetry. Essentially, I had to destroy my identity and choose a new one.

If I only knew back then, how hard and hurtful it is to lose one’s identity. How hard it is to find one’s passion again. I don’t think I would have done it. 

The true breaking point came, as I remember, when I was sat in a bench on a small square, crying and wailing. Those were tears of anger and pain, knowing that I had given up on my passion for the sake of pleasing and fitting in with those around me. But it was during that tearful moment, that I realized that I should not change who I was for others, and instead people should accept for who I am.

From that point on, I made the mature decision to embrace the person I was meant to be and revived my passion for poetry.

I began looking at the world and human spirituality again, the same way I did during my school years. I was finally myself again. During this time, I suddenly realized, that I had to share my experience, and help others who had gone through the same thing as me.

To that end, I decided to open an Instagram account, where I post my poetry and inspiring messages for others to read. My husband is incredibly supportive and pushes me to share my thoughts and passion even when I feel like I can’t.

Thanks to an idea proposed by my colleagues, I began publishing my messages in our in-house publication, “The Eurasian Group Bulletin”.

Sharing my experience with other people, inspiring and supporting those who are open and ready receive, is a happiness for me.

Seeing the sparks of enlightenment in the eyes of a person, that vividly testify that he or she is able to discover a grain of truth in him- or herself, is a sense for me.

Seeing concealed tears, caused by the tug of my poem on the heartstrings, is a pleasure for me.

 

Happiness is simple!

 

I sought for my happiness, 

The path was so long …

I trudged on through the stormy weather.

But all was in vain.

 

I ran fast, 

I crawled wiped out,

With no hope in my heart

I folded my wings. 

 

It turned up that happiness -

Is very simple,

Is very close,

Like a rocket to stars! 

 

Happiness is a sky

Through the needles of pine!

Happiness is a sea,

SO Benevolent!

 

Happiness is the first

Leaf of a green,

Gentle and timid,

And very welcome!

 

Happiness is in the snowstorm…

At home, by the window, 

With the nosy tea,

That arms your palms!

 

Happiness is a ray of sun

Before the dawn,

Or before the sunset…

One cooler another!

 

There is no end of happiness!

All it takes is take a close look…

Happiness is desperately waiting for us …

Quietly … in our hearts!

 

Be happy! :))